Tomi Obaro wrote movingly about the push-pull of twinship in the essay “To Love Your Sister Is to Grieve Your Twin,” which was included in the Atlantic’s 2017 list of exceptional works of journalism. “Growing apart, or becoming sisters and not twins, was mostly horrifying,” Obaro wrote, “but sometimes it’s a relief.” Dami, who majored in political science, is now assistant attorney general for the state of New York. I think the relationships between Funmi and Destiny and Enitan and Remi are fraught in different ways. The mothers love their daughters but don’t always understand them. But I’m more curious to hear what readers think about those relationship dynamics!

There are younger characters in the novel too—Enitan’s half-American daughter Remi as well as Funmi’s daughter Destiny—but Obaro does not let us into their heads very much. As a writer, she says, it was exciting, and a little frightening, to imagine herself her mother’s age, to “grab for myself that authority.” In Yoruba, Obaro notes, there are no gendered pronouns—no he or she. But there are sharp differentiations around age and seniority. A book begging to be read on the beach, with the sun warming the sand and salt in the air: pure escapism. There’s some modest tension of the “will-she-or-won’t-she” kind over Destiny’s indifference to her forthcoming nuptials. But we’re denied the more interesting question of whether the friendship between the three women can survive because right at the beginning we’re assured that they will remain “steadfastly in each other’s lives.” Without that element of drama, I couldn’t see there was much of a purpose to the story. The idea for the book was sound, it was the execution that let it down for me. Dele Weds Destiny by Tomi Obaro: Footnotes A story rendered with so much heart.”—Taylor Jenkins Reid, best-selling author of The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo and Daisy Jones and the Six They are now in they’re 40’s with daughters of their own. I’m glad that wasn’t delved into as I enjoyed getting to know them both in their teenage years as well as in their 40’sDELE WEDS DESTINY is the heartfelt, vivid and sparkling debut novel by editor and writer Tomi Obaro, a dazzling new voice in fiction. A story of three women, w e witness the shared histories, betrayals and triumphs play out, and their unforgettable, enduring friendship. Over the course of thirty years, their lives and friendships diverge and change. Enitan is separating from her husband, trying to understand her daughter Remi. Zainab finds herself the sole breadwinner for her husband and their four sons. And Funmi is living a life of confined luxury, as the wife of a successful, shady businessman. Fast-paced, glamorous, and bursting with emotion, Dele Weds Destiny is a thrilling debut. The bonds between women – as friends, and across the generations – are the jewels that make this story shine!’ Tayari Jones DELE WEDS DESTINY follows best friends Funmi, Enitan and Zainab as they reunite in Lagos, Nigeria after many years apart to celebrate the wedding of Funmi’s daughter, Destiny. If you love multigenerational novels that explore a culture through the highs and lows of friendship, motherhood and marriage then this is a book for you. By day, Obaro is a staff editor for "Buzzfeed Reader", having edited cultural criticism, essays and creative writing for the likes of Bim Adewunmi and Tommy Orange. By her design, we see flashes of music, literature and art weaved into the narrative, from Yemi Alade and Brenda and the Big Dudes to romance writer Balaraba Ramat Yakubu and photographer J D ‘Okhai Ojeikere. Figuring out what they would be hearing and seeing sent her on a road of “rediscovery” but she was wary of going too heavy on research. The risk of feeling “like [she] was working on a news story” was understandably high.

It's rare to find a book that speaks to you in a way that makes you reflect on your own choices. After reaching the end of the book, I found myself returning to the beginning again to really see how the stories of each character played out. I pondered how each individual changed and the possible driving factors. I really took the book further in my mind and invested myself in it, which is rare.Dele Weds Destinyis the heartfelt, vivid and sparkling debut novel by editor and writer Tomi Obaro, a dazzling new voice in fiction. A story of three women, we witness the shared histories, betrayals and triumphs play out, and their unforgettable, enduring friendship. This enchanting debut is an affectionate portrait of a three women at middle age, cannily exploring the ways the self is forged in youth. With an admirably light touch, Tomi Obaro documents how class, race, faith, and power define the lives of women in Nigeria and America, past and present.” — Rumaan Alam, author of Leave the World Behind Obaro’s writing gives richness and depth to female friendship, depicting the beauty of bonds that last a lifetime.” — The Washington Post Obaro writes beautifully about the complicated labor of friendship and parentage. Dele Weds Destinyexplores caregiving as a kind of deferment, but also as discovery, of desire, of fury, of home.” –Raven Leilani, author of Luster Also, I kept thinking that Dele and Destiny would play more of a role given that they are the ones mentioned in the title but they do not.

Dele Weds Destiny. Three women brought together again after many years at the celebration of this wedding. Funmi, Enitan, and Zainab first meet at university in Nigeria and become friends for life despite their differences. Funmi is beautiful, brash, and determined; Enitan is homely and eager, seeking escape from her single mother's smothering and needylove; Zainab is elegant and reserved, raised by her father's first two wives after her mother's death in childbirth. Their friendship is complicated but enduring, and over the course of the novel, the reader learns about their loves and losses. How Funmi stole Zainab's boyfriend and became pregnant, only to have an abortion and lose the boyfriend to police violence. How Enitan was seduced by an American Peace Corps volunteer, the only one who ever really saw her, but is culturally so different from him—a Connecticut WASP—that raising their daughter together put them at odds. How Zainab fell in love with her teacher, a friend of her father’s, and ruptured her relationship with her father to have him. You said you started writing DELE WEDS DESTINY during the summer of 2019. Could you paint a picture of that summer for you? How did your world at that time draw you into the lives of Funmi, Enitan, and Zainab? Did editing in the non-fiction world offer any cheat codes to the fiction process? She’s not so sure. “I don’t really understand how editing fiction works. It’s kind of amazing to me because in non-fiction there are generally guidelines that you’re going off of, and then in fiction it can feel like it could be anything.” It at least made her less precious. “If my editor was like, ‘This isn’t working’, I was like, ‘OK’. It wasn’t like every word was a gem.”Now, some 30 years later, the three women are reunited for the first time, in Lagos. The occasion: Funmi’s daughter, Destiny, is getting married. Enitan brings her American daughter, Remi. Zainab travels by bus, nervously leaving her ailing husband in the care of their son. Funmi, hosting the weekend with her wealthy husband, wants everything to go perfectly. But as the big day approaches, it becomes clear that something is not right. As the novel builds powerfully, the complexities of the mothers’ friendship --- and the private wisdom each has earned --- come to bear on a riveting, heartrending moment of decision. A wonderful novel full of richly-drawn, complicated, nuanced characters all trying to love and connect with each other. An ode to the bonds of friendship across decades, Dele Weds Destiny is a marvelous debut' Jami Attenberg, author of All This Could Be Yours Destiny’s wedding brings the trio together for the first time in many years. Now, they are middle-aged with families of their own, with a lot more support, but they are lonely as they navigate this new stage of their lives alone. Enitan, who is the peacekeeper of this friendship group, is recently separated, and she’s living alone for the first time in Queens, New York. She flies to Nigeria with her teenage daughter. Here, the novel expands to explore not only female friendship but the complex relationships between mothers and daughters. A wonderful novel full of richly-drawn, complicated, nuanced characters all trying to love and connect with each other. An ode to the bonds of friendship across decades, Dele Weds Destiny is a marvelous debut' -- Jami Attenberg, author of All This Could Be Yours Obaro began writing Dele Weds Destiny in the summer of 2019, after her twin sister, Dami Obaro, AB’12, moved out of their shared New York apartment, leaving behind her desk. “There’s something about actually having a desk,” Obaro says. “It just made it easier.”